Italian born. Austrian bred. Brooklynite at heart. Trilingual. An Enneagram type 4. A mermaid splashing about somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean between two continents. 91% happy.
I was totally blown away by Rickie Lee Jones’ performance in Vienna tonight. She played solo and this was probably the most melancholy concert of hers I have ever heard but she never ceases to amaze me.
She pretty much told the story of her musical career throughout her songs which she played pretty much in chronological order telling stories between he pieces. Concluding the concert with the song “Bonfires” and actually telling the audience that it’s about the end of a long relationship and how she found out the guy was cheating on her. Telling how instead of wishing the person who broke up with you bad things you should envision only beautiful things for the to happen. It’s been more than a year after she wrote that song and it helped heal her broken heart. Well, I’ve never much identified with Rickie’s songs in general but when I first heard Bonfires it was during the time when I felt my heart would never mend again. I remember starting to cry when I first heard it. Now, almost a year later, I’m finally feeling some closure. Funny how it all fits in a way.
It hurt me to see that M. is currently in so much pain. I told him that it will get better one day. I know he doesn’t believe it will but I know it will.
I never wrote much about last year on this web log because I was just in too much pain. I really thought I could never love again but now I know that my heart is open to the possibility of love, open to let someone new in. It sucks that it couldn’t be I., but I am glad we dated for a while because that’s when I realized I can actually fall in love again.
Wow… I’ve totally gone off topic here…
Back to Rickie Lee Jones: she played, like, all my favorites including Young Blood, Satellites, Pirates, Stewart’s Coat (goosebumps!), It Must Be Love (OMG, major goosebumps!!) and of course Bonfires. What I really liked is that since it was only her guitar and her I could really listen to the lyrics and enjoy songs that I’ve known forever in a totally different way.
So, pretty much perfect. Add to this the fact that I went to the concert with my 4 closest friends in Austria: Marion, Martin, Gabi and - because I. canceled - my soul-sista Steph. Yeah, crazy, I know. And no, it doesn’t bother me that I. couldn’t come because it would’ve been awkward anyway.
You never know when you’re making a memory. (Young Blood - RLJ) Well, tonight I did!
PS: Other memorable quotes from Rickie’s songs (which I just noticed because I was listening to the lyrics):
“He’s more trouble than he’s worth” (Living it up)
“I will love the sound of my sheets since you have moved beneath them” (Stewart’s Coat)
“If there’s a sun, I’ll watch it rise
To dry the tears out of my eyes
If there’s a river, you can bet
There’ll be a sea for my heart yet.”
(Bonfires)
I know y’all dying for some subway stories, right?
The truth is, I didn’t see anything really crazy on the NYC subway this summer. Part of it may be the fact that what would seem crazy to the average person is just totally common on the NYC subway, so that when you see it you just shrug and go on with your day.
Like the homeless guy who wants some money but then stays on the subway car way longer than he should, way past the next stop and starts telling everyone how we’re all going to go to hell no matter if we go to church or not.
Or the Mexican musicians waiting for the 7 train on the platform who start some drunken tune that has “Mi amor” way too often in it.
That’s all normal.
But sometimes you just happen to notice something the same time someone else does and then it’s hard not to laugh…
Stine and I were on our way home from the Coney Island Fireworks Friday night and getting to Midtown Manhattan from Coney Island at 11pm is just painful because it will easily take you one and a half hours. So we changed to the 4 train at Atlantic and stayed on it for the next 20 minutes at least. I was squeezed in between Stine and this black lady to the left of me who seemed really unhappy because she kept grunting and making unhappy noises. Across from her, leaning against the door, were two black guys - one of them had these thick black frames which made him look quite the intelectual, which, turns out, he wasn’t because he kept making kiss-faces at the woman sitting next to me until she hissed at him something like “Yeah, you wish”.
And that’s when I noticed boob-woman. Boob-woman was this pale, older lady with red hair and freckles on her chest and… really big breasts. They wouldn’t have been such an issue if she hadn’t been wearing a top which was really low cut and presenting those big boobs on a platter, so to speak.
Boob-woman is chewing gum and decides she want to listen to some music. So she takes out her I-Pod Nano, puts the earplugs in her ears, selects a tune and then proceeds putting the I-Pod in a secure place, which seems to be made just for the I-Pod Nano: between her breasts. And she doesn’t just put it into her top, no she tugs it in there between the fabric and her overflowing breasts. And she repeats all that every time she needs to skip a song or change the volume. I do my best not to look at Stine whose face is motionless it seems.
When we get out I only say - oh my god, did you see…? And we burst out laughing.
Fun side story: the next night we also took the 4 around the same time and both immediately noticed the guy with the black glasses again. It always amazes me whenever I run into the same people in a huge city like NYC…
The stuff I listen to while riding home on the train from Vienna slightly drunk from too much Retsina and Metaxa after a great evening with Maiphone.
My thoughts? Hoping that I am doing the right thing by pulling away…if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. It’s out of my control and I know deep down that I am doing the right thing….
It felt like straight out of a Seinfeld episode the way I kept gaining/losing money on my recent trip to New York.
It all started when I got to Vienna airport and wanted to check in my second bag, which now costs EUR40 or $50. The bag was half empty because I had been planning to bring only one but couldn’t get it to stay below the required 23kg/50lbs. Anyway so the nice lady at the check in takes my second bag and then says I’m done and I’m all like “I don’t need to pay?” and she’s like “Nope!”, so I said “Thanks” and was happy I had saved EUR40.
That happiness lasted about 10 minutes until I realized that I had stupidly forgotten to pack the power adapter for my netbook. See, I have two cables that connect the power adapter to the outlet: one for Europe and one for the US. I had packed the cable and in the morning (after only about 3hrs of sleep thanks to Gabi staying at my place way past her bedtime ;P ) I had just grabbed the netbook thinking “I have packed the cable”). Well, I had a cable but not the connecting power adapter. Cost of the adapter? About USD45.
Then there was the fake-phone incident, which I may or may not blog about separately. In any case, stupid me managed to buy what I thought was a Motorola V3 Razr on Fulton (yeah, yeah, stupid me) but upon further inspection turned out to be a bootleg phone. Too late. Because the store has a “No refund” policy there’s nothing that can be done and I am stuck with a copy of a Motorola razr and USD67.- out the window. Luckily it wasn’t more money but I am still pissed off that my money is supporting some gangsters on Fulton selling bootleg phones. Also, those 67 bucks hurt. I sent a complaint to the Better Business Bureau but I am not expecting much.
That was part of the reason why I traveled to the airport by subway and air train rather than spending money on a cab.
I had carefully weighed the two pieces of luggage because I knew that people at JFK had been very anal about weight regulations in the past making you repack your bags if they were over the limit - even if one was too heavy and the other too light they would make you repack and stuff like that. Both my bags weighed exactly 23kg/50lbs each, so I was expecting to pay only USD50 for the second bag.
When I got to the terminal most passengers had already checked in and they were wrapping up the check-in process, so a very nice guy from the business class window motioned me over. I was like “I’m checking in two bags” and hauled the first bag onto the conveyor belt. “No, just leave it there” (after getting the labels you must drop them off at security yourself when traveling from the US) so he told me to leave them on my cart and did not even weigh them!!! And, what’s more, he whispered “I’m supposed to charge you $50 for the second bag but don’t worry about it”. I was all like “Thank you!” and took my bags to security.
Going to NY this summer turned out to be the right/best decision after all. If only to realize that I am finally, finally OK by myself again.
I have a couple of things to write about (2 posts specifically) and major jet lag to get over (trying to kill it with Tylenol PM, Melatonin and a glass of red wine - yeah, I know) but I’ve been back since Thursday morning and this may be the first time in a long time that I’ve returned without being a complete emotional wreck.
Thomas is fine (that seems to be what everyone wants to know these days) and we’ve spent some real nice time together. I also got to spend quality time with Stine and I went to the Ocean many many times, jumped in the waves and buried my feet in the sand. I had delicious ethnic food (Cuban, Japanese, Philippino, Middle Eastern, Chinese, Thai, Mexican, American burgers, bagels, Russian filled baked stuff and of course plenty of seafood like king crab legs and raw clams) and killer cocktails. I bought myself some nice clothes, three pairs of Seychelle brand sandals, 2kg of Cafe Caribe and tons of accessories.
I did not meet the ex (except for the exchange of things on the street which lasted approximately 15mins) and that’s all I’m going to say about the matter on this web log.
There was some confusing, irritating and very annoying exchange of emails between the recent ex and me, which made me lose quite a bit of sleep in the mornings. Also I had to call on three of my friends to interpret and decipher said emails, because, dude, you have no idea!
July 23rd remains a day to remember because not only did 4 of my favorite people agree to go to the Rickie Lee Jones concert on Sept 1st with me, but also it was the day that Stine arrived in NYC, the day of a memorable chat and the day of the drunk email. (insiders only, sorry)
So where am I now? I don’t know… I had a blast with M&M at the (later canceled and drowned - first by the rain then by cocktails) Friday Night Skating last night even though my eyes kept looking to see if he was there. I am feeling pretty good - best I’ve felt in the last year or maybe even longer. Happy to have the friends I have - on both sides of the Ocean: Thomas, Stine and Margo on the other side. Martin, Maiphone, Steph, Gabi on this side.
As far as the recent ex is concerned I have reached a point where I don’t want to continue like this anymore. Basically what I’ve come to realize is that I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want me. Or is afraid to admit that he does. Whatever. I am tired of games and tired of feeling like I did something wrong. I am also tired of emails that can be interpreted a thousand different ways because the person writing them can’t use language I can understand (or anyone else, for that matter). Yes, I do miss him and I wished things were different but it’s out of my control. It’s up to him now. And if he can’t deal with it/me then there’s nothing I can do about it. I think I deserve someone who loves me, not someone who takes two steps back after he takes one step forward.
So Stine was here this weekend - we didn’t make the fireworks on Friday night because her bus was late but then it started pouring anyway and we just went to the Mexican restaurant close to where T&J live - we had awesome plantains with mole and I had enchiladas as well as a well-deserved margarita.
Friday was just plain crazy - first all these awesome people telling me they would join me to see RLJ in concert and then of course buying the tickets. In the process I communicated with the recent ex (who immediately said he’d come to the concert but who was busy otherwise) - I don’t want to go into details but there was just some weird short communication between us and then suddenly I got this email from him which literally took my breath away. I have no clue what he wants but I have a feeling that the whole thing may not be over after all. So… wow.
Yesterday Stine and I attempted shopping in crazy hot weather and then collapsed at home. Before we got out at night we decided I should style Stine’s hair, which was a first for me but I had a lot of fun doing it (not knowing what the hell I was doing as usual). It actually came out really nice and Stine loved it, so I was happy too
After that we took the train to BK and hung out at Habana Outpost for some corn and plantains (it’s so easy to make me happy)
Almost instantly this black woman started chatting with us - she was really nice and fun and we just happened to be sitting at the same table - I love that about Brooklyn and especially Fort Greene, it’s such a nice mix of people and at places like Habana Outpost, where you have to share tables, it’s just so easy to start conversation.
After we ate we took a walk in my old hood and on my block and I was telling Stine stories of the time I lived there when there were the neighbor’s kids sitting on the stoop (the hippies, Sophie’s kids) playing Nirvana on their guitar or when the boys would yell “Mayaaa!” instead of ringing the nonexistent doorbell. Or how Sophie’s mom started talking to us in German when I was doing my stoop sale.
I remembered the other neighbor who would always stand and smoke outside his door or the weird guy next door, whose house is all boarded up now (I wonder what happened).
Of course I had to tell Stine about the time when Gabi and I decided to check out the apartments in the “Sanctuary” pretending to be genuinely interested in them. Good times…
We rounded off the evening by stopping at Junior’s where I got some Raspberry Swirl Cheesecake (orgasmic, as usual).
Today was more of a lazy day because we didn’t sleep for very long and then Stine had to leave early because she’s teaching summer school and had to go back to Baltimore.
The end of summer will be a blast: just bought tickets for Rickie Lee Jones performing at Porgy & Bess in Vienna on September 1st. Number of tickets I bought? 5.
Because all the awesomest people decided to come with me: Maiphone, Martin, Gabi and… even the recent ex. Yeah, I know, this will be one hell of an evening!!!! Can’t wait!!!!
This will be my 5th Rickie concert by the way and her first time in Vienna. Pure bliss, I am telling you!!!
