Next Stop: Atlantic

So Stine was here this weekend - we didn’t make the fireworks on Friday night because her bus was late but then it started pouring anyway and we just went to the Mexican restaurant close to where T&J live - we had awesome plantains with mole and I had enchiladas as well as a well-deserved margarita.

Friday was just plain crazy - first all these awesome people telling me they would join me to see RLJ in concert and then of course buying the tickets. In the process I communicated with the recent ex (who immediately said he’d come to the concert but who was busy otherwise) - I don’t want to go into details but there was just some weird short communication between us and then suddenly I got this email from him which literally took my breath away. I have no clue what he wants but I have a feeling that the whole thing may not be over after all. So… wow.

Yesterday Stine and I attempted shopping in crazy hot weather and then collapsed at home. Before we got out at night we decided I should style Stine’s hair, which was a first for me but I had a lot of fun doing it (not knowing what the hell I was doing as usual). It actually came out really nice and Stine loved it, so I was happy too

After that we took the train to BK and hung out at Habana Outpost for some corn and plantains (it’s so easy to make me happy)

Almost instantly this black woman started chatting with us - she was really nice and fun and we just happened to be sitting at the same table - I love that about Brooklyn and especially Fort Greene, it’s such a nice mix of people and at places like Habana Outpost, where you have to share tables, it’s just so easy to start conversation.

After we ate we took a walk in my old hood and on my block and I was telling Stine stories of the time I lived there when there were the neighbor’s kids sitting on the stoop (the hippies, Sophie’s kids) playing Nirvana on their guitar or when the boys would yell “Mayaaa!” instead of ringing the nonexistent doorbell. Or how Sophie’s mom started talking to us in German when I was doing my stoop sale.

I remembered the other neighbor who would always stand and smoke outside his door or the weird guy next door, whose house is all boarded up now (I wonder what happened).

Of course I had to tell Stine about the time when Gabi and I decided to check out the apartments in the “Sanctuary” pretending to be genuinely interested in them. Good times…

We rounded off the evening by stopping at Junior’s where I got some Raspberry Swirl Cheesecake (orgasmic, as usual).

Today was more of a lazy day because we didn’t sleep for very long and then Stine had to leave early because she’s teaching summer school and had to go back to Baltimore.

And the best part?

She’s coming up next weekend as well

I. Am. Speechless.

July 23rd, 2010, remember the date because this day was like no other day, seriously…

The end of summer will be a blast: just bought tickets for Rickie Lee Jones performing at Porgy & Bess in Vienna on September 1st. Number of tickets I bought? 5.

Because all the awesomest people decided to come with me: Maiphone, Martin, Gabi and… even the recent ex. Yeah, I know, this will be one hell of an evening!!!! Can’t wait!!!!

This will be my 5th Rickie concert by the way and her first time in Vienna. Pure bliss, I am telling you!!!

• Margo
• Stine getting here tonight
• awesome conversation with my friend G. (in person before I left for NYC and just now on Skype)
• summer heat and possibly Coney Island Fireworks tonight
• emails from Maiphone
• RLJ performing in Vienna (!) and hopefully going there with some awesome friends

I’m all smiles right now and can’t remember when I last felt like this…

So I finally started writing my personal journal again, which means this here will become a bit less personal but I can tell you this much: life’s not bad right now. And, no, I am not in love. Or maybe I am falling in love with Brooklyn, with the beach, with the hot air late at night, with my wonderful friends here. Maybe I am falling in love with life again. And this time it could last because I am happy by myself and not in a situation where I am waiting for someone to show up and make it all better.

That being said I think I am starting to realize that I am getting over my ex (I am talking about my last long relationship not the last short one). I will not see him while I am here anymore (I already met him briefly to get the remaining things) and strangely enough I am OK with it.

There’s also been some weird (non?)-communication between the recent ex and me. Very strange and I don’t know what to make of it…

Meanwhile I am enjoying feeling the hot air on my almost naked body at the beach, feel the water surround me in the ocean and spending long subway rides (75mins to the beach!) reading great books. Feeling good, feeling hopeful, feeling I can do this on my own.

And then… Stine’s coming here tomorrow, which will be awesome, no matter what we end up doing. CAn’t wait to see her!!!

Spent an amazing day with my friend Margo today - she came down from Pennsylvania to meet me in Brooklyn for a few hours. I’m not even sure when I last saw her - must’ve been at least 4 years ago if not more.

We met at one of my all time favorite spots for hanging out with my girlfriends: Sweet Melissa. Because they have awesome food, a gorgeous backyard and because they let you sit there for hours unlike some overcrowded places in Manhattan. And also because Sweet Melissa was the place where we would hang out while still working at B*GS. When Margo walked into the backyard we were all hugs and sooo happy to see each other. After some delicious food (Quiche du jour with salad and homemade lemonade) we caught up on our lives (we haven’t been good at staying in touch through emails) and even though Margo and I know very little about the other person at this point, we immediately felt safe enough to share what we thought and felt.

After Sweet Melissa we strolled on Court Street for a bit looking at various boutiques there. I even ended up buying a dress at Lily’s, which used to be one of my favorite stores back in the days. It was so nice just doing stuff with a friend (the last few times I saw her we would just be hanging out at her house and not really do much).

I then decided to take her to another one of my favorite places: Empire Fulton State Park, the park between the bridges. The weather was insanely hot and humid today so it was a bit crazy to go there but we still did and just spent some time sitting on the steps leading to the water and later taking pics.

The afternoon passed way too fast and I am sad that once again I don’t know when I’ll see her again. What’s funny though is that even if we’re so bad at keeping in touch or if years have passed without seeing each other, we always end up making the effort to spend some time together - even if it’s just a few hours like today. Even if it means that Margo had to travel for 3 hours to get here (the past few times I had always gone up to visit her). “You know that means I love you” she said when I felt bad she had to travel so far. And that’s basically what it is - no matter how big the distance between us, no matter that we haven’t talked in a year and not seen each other in 5, the love’s there - it’s been there since the spring of 2000 when we were having lunch together and it’s still here after all these years. And that’s all that matters.

Got into the city Thursday afternoon and started by taking the train down to J&R because I needed to buy a power adapter for my netbook because I had left mine at home. Great - 50 bucks down the drain. So if anyone needs a power adapter for various netbooks and notebooks, let me know…

Friday morning I left for Fort Lee - that’s where Thomas and Joel usually go on the weekend (Joel’s family owns a house there). Joel’s on vacation right now so they’re not in the city and asked me to spend the weekend with them.

Friday we drove to the nude/gay friendly beach in Sandy Hook, which was awesome as usual. Nude beaches in the States have the big advantage that you get a crowd that’s different from your usual beach crowd: no teenagers or kids, very relaxed people usually including plenty of gay couples (with the occasional transvestite like the guy  with long blond hair sporting a pink bikini) as well as interracial couples, international people and no huge loud groups like you get at Coney Island and also no Long Island “Tussis” whatsoever. Plus, the water is a lot warmer than it is on Long Island. SO my first swim in the Atlantic was awesome. At night we rounded off the day with dinner at a local seafood place where I had steamers and king crab legs for the first time. Steamers are kind of like clams and king crab legs might be the best stuff on earth (yes, even better than lobster). The others had seafood as well, so I had a chance to try scallops (Jakobsmuscheln) as well - delicious.

Saturday we took a break from the beach and drove to Woodbury Commons, the outlet mall in this area. It was disappointing this time and I hardly bought anything - just a shirt at “Lucky Brand” and a dress from J.Crew. Foodwise we had hibachi at this Japanese place for lunch and Greek food for dinner (I had grilled calamari).

Today it was beach one more time but since it was so hot and Sunday the nude beach was full so we had to go further down to this other beach, which was still OK.

Now I am back to Manhattan by myself where I’ll have the apartment for myself for at least a week. Stine’s coming up Friday and I hope to meet Margo and Andrew as well. Tomorrow I’m getting my things from the ex and since I don’t know if he’s reading this I’ll leave it at that.

Everything else… I’ll just let it happen and do the best I can.

PS: I am purposely NOT writing about my feelings here because they are all over the place, especially when I am overcome with memories or the feeling I belong here mixed with feelings about my penultimate relationship as well as my last one. I wish I. was here, I really do.

Before heading to NYC next week I want to post my final subway/bus story from 2005 here, which never made it to the weblog back then and has only been recorded in a notebook until now. I’ll leave it here for a few days, then move it to the appropriate date (July 2005)

We spent about six hours on the MTA on Thursday because we had to take a trip to La Guardia Airport and back by public transportation for reasons I am not going to go into on a public weblog.

Q33 Bus, 8pm. The driver: a butch Puerto Rican woman who takes no shit.

A Hispanic woman gets on the bus and doesn’t have the 2 Dollars in change for the ride. So she steps to the side and starts looking through her purse/make up bag. Her cellphone rings and she answers it.

A bus stop passes and she still hasn’t paid. The bus driver is like, “You got the change?” - “Yeah, I got it!”. More searching.

An eyeliner falls on the ground, followed by a lipstick, followed by other items which roll around. The woman tries to sit down. There’s this huge woman with an even bigger Gap shopping bag occupying two seats - like, her bag is taking up an entire seat. “Excuse me” The big woman moves her bag and rolls her eyes.

Meanwhile two other seats are empty and the woman decides to sit on those. As she is still looking for money, her phone rings again. “Hell?”

Now the bus driver is pissed and demands the money. The woman is only able to produce 75 cents in coins. The driver yells, “Anybody got change for a dollar?” Nobody moves.

Now the bus driver shows everybody who the real boss is: she brings the bus to a halt and announces that she won’t move until the woman hasn’t paid or somebody has given her change. While the woman is still looking for money, a young black guy gets up and swipes his metrocard so we can get going.

The woman is super annoyed while the bus driver is like, “Somebody paid for you - say thank you!” The woman just goes to the back of the bus muttering curse words in Spanish directed at the driver.

At this point everybody on the bus is trying their best not to burst out laughing.

PS: There was another story featuring a drunk Hispanic guy with a huge cooler (with a stuffed animal tied to it) on a Manhattan bound train coming from Coney Island and a Jamaican guy with a big suitcase but I wrote down only pieces of it. All I remember is that the guy was reorganizing his cooler on the train, which took him several efforts because he was so drunk and that the black guy wanted some ice from him…

Had to see the Ex today because he still had my beloved bike (don’t ask, long story). He was being slightly complicated so I said I was going to pick it up tonight. I resisted when he asked if I wanted to come in for a drink and told him I needed to go.

I have a feeling this whole scene might repeat itself next week Friday when I’m planning on picking up my last few things from the previous ex’s place.

Yes, I’ll be leaving for the BK next week. Wish me luck. Although I am pretty sure this summer cannot possibly be any worse than the previous 2.

PS: So grateful to have a great friend who’ll spontaneously meet me in Vienna and buy me Margaritas until I can breathe normally again. I wish I had had a similar person in NYC Christmas 2008…

PPS: Yes, it was definitely the right decision NOT to enter his apartment and stay for a drink. Still I feel awful because I couldn’t even look him in the eye when I said I needed to go and I’m sure he could tell that I’m really hurt. Fuck. I am proud though that I didn’t stay…

PPPS: Wondering if the previous Ex still reads this… just wondering

Maybe you all will think that I am completely crazy but I think I’ll try the friendship thing. Not expecting much out of it but I think there’s a fair chance it might work.